Memory
by Robin Rainyday
Summary: Snape/Lupin hints of Sirius/Lupin. Set during Marauder era post Hogwarts.the Marauders, now members of the Order have been captured and called before the Dark Lord. Memories of the past that were best left forgotten are remembered, much to Snape's horror.


Disclaimer: I Robin Rainyday, do not in fact own Harry Potter, but you knew that didn't you.

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Memory

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It was dark which didn't surprise Severus at all really. The Dark Lord favoured the dark. Severus had the feeling that this was only for effect though. He appeared in the room in the already murmuring crowd of his fellow death eaters pushing to the front to see what they had all been called for. His eyes widened under his mask.

_Them_

Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin stood back to back grim looks on their faces, all were wandless. Severus quickly thought to his calendar, when was the full moon this month? He looked to Lupin who looked as ragged and ill as ever. It was either coming, or had gone.

"Dumbledore's order must really be desperate to have a blood traitor, a muggle-lover, a coward, and a half-breed." Voldemort said finally. Four faces were instantly facing the Dark Lord's. How could they not? The biggest danger to them was that one man, not the numerous wizards and witches surrounding them.

"You just listed our best features there," Black said with a snide grin. Black could never keep his mouth shut. Severus, for once, was rather glad he couldn't. The four of them would finally get what was always coming to them. He looked over at the four's faces. Brash Black still had that grim smile on his face, arrogant Potter looked worried, but determined, the gentle werewolf Lupin, face a masked in calm his hand on the shoulder of cowardly Pettigrew who was shaking like mad, looking as if he were about to cry.

"Is that right?" The Dark Lord glared at Black and then smiled himself, "If feel as if I'm at school again. Twenty points from Gryffindor for rudeness."

"Oh I forgot, you were Head Boy weren't you? Well, we lot were never one for the rules were we?" Sirius spat back. Potter grabbed Black's arm hissing in his ear, warning him off. Severus highly doubted that Potter's words were taking to heart by the look on Black's face. The Dark Lord stood and his wand was out.

"Then again, house rivalries are rather petty when looking at ... the big picture." The Dark Lord was coming forward.

"Yeah, the murdering and the raids and muggle slaying, puts it all in perspective doesn't it? Really it shows me how right we always were about you Slytherins." Black hissed not only looking at the Dark Lord now, but the entire room, his eyes burning into Severus' briefly until they met the witch beside him.

"Sirius," Lupin finally acted trying to keep Black from saying something that would cause bodily harm.

"He's gonna kill us anyway Remus." At those words Pettigrew gave a squeak of terror.

"_Cruciatus_," Voldemort spat, but to Severus' disappointment and slight horror it was not aimed at Black, but at Lupin. Lupin was instantly on the ground screaming in pain ripping at himself, _biting_ himself. Finally the Dark Lord lifted the curse. Lupin continued to whimper on the ground. Potter and Black looked as if they were holding each other back from flinging themselves at Voldemort wandless. Fools. Pettigrew was on the ground trying to help Lupin, and, as usual, being completely useless.

"Keep in mind Sirius Black, that it is not only you that is at my mercy." The Dark Lord grinned. Lupin was still twitching on the ground, but seemed to be pulling himself up with Pettigrew's help, his hand holding a rather nasty bite mark on his arm.

"What mercy?" The Dark Lord's red eyes were suddenly boring into Lupin's amber.

"So, was it as bad as the change?" Lupin did not look away. He shook his head, "Nothing is as painful as that." He clearly stated, bravely. He probably would have ended up in Ravenclaw if it wasn't for the useless bravery he sometimes showed. Taking away the attention from his friends too, that was obvious.

"No torture as painful as the change, yes, I heard that somewhere, but what about your friends? I doubt they have been through such agony." The first traces of fear shone in Lupin's amber eyes now, "Have they ever met you up close and personal on the night of the full moon?"

"You know who you are Remus, you're more human than anyone here." Potter said quietly. Voldemort's eyes shifted to him.

"Now there's a small matter of information extraction before you all meet your intended fate." Voldemort said facing the determined Potter whose teeth were grinding together loudly.

"You're half blood son and Mudblood wife. Where are they Potter?" Instant terror in Potter's eyes, though Severus could not enjoy it, not when Lily was at risk. He stiffened watching.

"I didn't think you'd say anything." Voldemort sighed, "_legitimus_." Lupin threw himself in front of Potter eyes connecting with Voldemort's just as the spell took effect. Lupin said nothing, Severus could just make out a tear rolling down his cheek. This time Black and Potter did nothing understanding that this was to make sure James had time to prepare himself. Severus doubted highly that Lupin, though intelligent, could fight against the Dark Lord in this area, even when considering his marks in Defence Against the Dark Arts rivalled his own. Lupin would have a better chance at it, and know how to fight it better than Potter would. It was a stall for time. Severus wondered how many secrets of the Order of the Phoenix were just lost to protect Lily Ev—Potter.

It had been a bad idea, but it was better him than James. At the very thought of James several memories of him flashed by. James doing homework, James crowing as he catches the snitch, James mooning over Lily Evans, James becoming Head Boy, James nearly getting killed on a mission for the order, James holding Harry—

Voldemort grabbed at the memory, but Remus relaxed letting it slip away. Voldemort's search felt more violent now. He was trying to break his concentration of hiding the memories of Harry and Lily. When Remus was bitten, the first time someone looked at him in fear, his mother's tears, Lupin focused on the first irrelevant memory that came to his mind.

_The door leading to the main room of the Shrieking Shack suddenly opened. __"Sirius __get__ the hell out of here!" __Remus__ panicked seeing black __hair from the corner of his eye__. Sirius __**knew**__ that he didn't like to change in front of them__ and he also knew __Remus__ didn't want him here tonight__. He looked to the door and there was Severus __Snape__. His eyes widened in horror._

_"SNAPE!!__ SNAPE GET OUT OF HERE!" __Remus__ cried backing as far away as he could from the other boy. _

_"I want to know what you're doing in here __Lupin__,"__Snape__ said. He seemed stunned as he realized __Remus__ was naked__Remus__ didn't have time to be embarrassed about that. _

_"You'__re in danger here. G__et out__ of here,__ GET OUT!!!!!!!" __Lupin__ screamed. And he felt it__A sliver of moonlight hitting him through the bordered up windows.__ "Run...please run..." He whispered as the change suddenly took him. He was __Remus__Lupin__Remus__Lupin__Remus__Lupin_

_When he woke up he was __Remus__Lupin__ again and everything flooded back._

_"__Snape__!"__ He cried standing up shakily. He didn'__t wait for Madam __Pomfre__y__ as usual. He ran through the __tunnel__ and out of the shack, past the __Whomping__ willow. Professor __McGonagall__ was waiting. _

_"Professor, professor," tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't care, __Snape__ was dead, he had killed him, he had killed someone and it had been __Snape__. He was a killer, a monster._

_"Mr. __Lupin__, Professor Dumbledore would like a word." __To expel him for killing someone, for killing __Snape__, Oh Merlin.__ McGonagall would tell him nothing as he was led towards Dumbledore's office. He walked in still crying._

_"Ah Mr. __Lupin__, maybe you can clear a few things up for us." Four heads turned towards him. Sirius, James, Peter, and..._

_"Severus!" he cried, "Severus." The other boy stood with a scowl on his face looking as if he were about to defend himself. __Remus__ didn't care. He threw himself at the other boy hugging him._

_"You're alive, you're alive, I thought I killed you, you're not a werewolf, you're alive, I thought I had killed you__." He was pushed back after a long moment still sobbing in relief. __The scowl on __Snape's__ face seemed __forced__ in some way, as if he were trying to cover another emotion._

_"Please __Remus__ sit down so we can discuss all of this." Mutely he did so sitting on a chair between Severus and Sirius__. Severus took back his seat as well_

_"S-sir, I'm sorry, I didn't know he was there or I would have locke__d the door somehow, but my wand--__ I'm so sorry, I'm so, so, sorry." __Dumbledore gave him a gentle, but sad look._

_"I need you to tell me what happened last night __Remus__, before you went to see Madam __Pomfrey__." _

Just the reminder of the memory brought it out.

_The Library.__ He was studying Defence __Against__ the Dark Arts again and Sirius was getting bored. James had been given detention by Professor __McGonagall__ for sticking Severus __Snape__ into a tree and not letting him down until he said that James was the best __Quidditch__ player in Hogwarts. It did not need saying that McGonagall had not been amused in the slightest.__ Sirius was whining terribly and it was getting worse from __Remus__' lack of sympathy. _

_"James shouldn't have done it." __Remus__ said finally laying the book down, "Sirius, it was not all that funny." James was being arrogant __as he tended to be__ when he was in the company of __Snape_

_"What?!__ You're taking __Snivley's__ side __Remus__? I can't believe you!" __Remus__ was feeling annoyed at __Snape__ himself. It was the night of the full moon and since Prongs couldn't be coming tonight__ neither could the other two__. He couldn't trust Sirius__ not__ to think that he could handle Moony all on his own. He would have a horrible night and feel battered, bruised and cut up by the time the night was over, all because James couldn't hold his temper. _

_"I'm not taking __Snape's__ side." __Remus__ sighed not saying what he was truly feeling. Sirius wouldn't understand, he hated __Snape__ and __Slytherins__ too much to understand, "And you can't come tonight to the Shack okay __Padfoot__?" Sirius looked stunned and hurt._

_"With Prongs in detention you know it's too dangerous." Sirius spluttered at this, "But, Moony, wait, we can just sit in the Shack, have a night in!" _

_"No, remember what happened last time? You got all restless and decided to have a little run around outside but, Moony got lonely and followed your path managing to get out before the __Whomping__ willow could recover. I'm not risking THAT again." _

_"But Moony!" Sirius was whining again, it was no go when he was whining, "You let Prongs stay with you!"_

_"He's bigger than you, not to mention he doesn't risk a jaunt in the woods when I'm under the influence and you're not there."_

_"Oh, so you trust James, but not me?" _

_"Keep your voice down Sirius," __Remus__ hissed as he spotted Severus __Snape__ in the corner not reading a book, but listening with interest to their conversation. He couldn't have heard much of it though, because until now they had been whispering. Sirius looked to where he had been looking and spotted __Snape__. He scowled, intense hate in his eyes. _

_"He's always watching you now you know?" Sirius hissed quietly so that __Snape__ wouldn't overhear them, _

_"Always dogging your footsteps, ending up wherever you are__. He's obsessed with you." _

_"He's curious about me." __Remus__ corrected, "He wants to know why I'm always disappearing. I fear what will happen if we study werewolves in Defence, he'll probably figure it out." Sirius' face darkened at the __very__ thought._

_"Greasy __git__ I wish he'd just drop dead." _

_"I have to go now."__Remus__ said quickly. He knew__ with Sirius' attention fixed on __Snape__, he would briefly forget to be mad at __Remus__ himself._

_"Yeah... yeah, bye," Sirius' eyes were still fixed on __Snape_

_He'll probably be in detention by sundown as well, _were Remus' last thoughts as the memory faded out.Once again memories were flitting around, this time of Snape. Snape being cursed by Sirius, Snape hanging upside down his underwear showing, Snape's hateful gaze at the four of them, Snape's look of deep loneliness when Remus had accidently found him in the corridor alone, Snape's look of anger at Dumbledore's word's... Remus latched on to that memory.

_"So you knew nothing of it then?" Dumbledore asked nodding to himself, although it seemed he wasn't surprised. __Remus__ quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve._

_"About what sir?__ I... it's __all my__ fault, if I had locked the—" Dumbledore cut him off._

_"No one is blaming you __Remus__." _

_"Yes, it's Black that we're all looking at," __Snape__ finally spoke up sounding like he was trying to hide his glee at the situation. __Remus__ sniffed looking over at Sirius looking at him questioningly. _

_"What?" he blinked in confusion. It seemed Severus would not give Dumbledore the honour of recounting to __Remus__ what this was truly all about._

_"You're dear friend," __Snape__ sneered, "tried to kill me using you, and nearly succeeded." It was the first time, __Remus__ realized, that he had seen Severus __Snape__ look truly happy. __Snape's__ words sunk in._

_"He ... he what?"__ He looked back at Sirius who wouldn'__t meet his eyes, "S-Sirius... it's not true." There was a huge empty silence that met him, "Please say it's not actually true—Sirius look at me." And finally he did. Slowly Sirius lifted his head, usually handsome face looked ghastly and there were dark circles under his eyes, "__It's__ true Moony, I'm so sorry." He whispered. He felt his heart breaking to pieces at that moment. _

_His friend had betrayed him. His friend had almost made him a murderer._

_More tears, he was tired of crying, but he couldn't help it. He said nothing. He wanted to yell and scream and thrash him, but all he could do was stare in silent disbelief. __Remus__ felt like the unhappiest boy in the world. Severus looked like he might be the happiest. _

_"Now," Dumbledore said. Sirius was looking forlornly in __Remus__' direction, "We must decide a proper punishment."_

_"Expulsion!"__ Severus cried as if he couldn't believe Dumbledore was actually thinking of something different, "He tried to kill me!" he yelled pointing at Sirius who was still staring at __Remus__, "He knew and did nothing!" Severus added pointing at a red eyed Peter, "And HE, well he just got cold feet," Severus finished glaring at James. _

_"I understand Severus, and in any other case Sirius would be expelled from the school immediately, however, the Black family has powerful influence—"_

_"So you're saying because Black is rich he can do what ever he wants to!?" __Snape__ yelled in __outrage jumping out of his seat, "Expulsion would be KIND. He deserves Azkaban!" _

_"Sit down __Severus that__ is not what I'm trying to say. The reason for Sirius Black's expulsion would be attempted murderer. If the truth comes out Sirius won't be the only one in trouble. Parents will write demanding that Mr. __Lupin__ be removed from the school."_

_"So what?"_

_Dumbledore looked mildly annoyed at __Snape's__ words, "So, Mr. __Snape__, Mr. __Lupin__ is the victim in this situation." __Snape__ was stunned for a moment._

_"The werewolf... you're telling me the WEREWOLF is the victim?! He tried to kill me! He was going to be my executioner!" __Snape__ banged his hands on Dumbledore's desk. _

_"You are a victim in this too Severus, however, while you had the choice of going down the __Whomping__ Willow's passage knowing full well that in all likelihood Mr. Black was going to play a trick on you__; Mr. __Lupin__ had no choice in becoming a werewolf. He was in the designated spot at the designated time and broke no rules. You Severus were out past curfew just to satisfy your own curiosity." _

_Snape__ was red with anger looking like he might start screaming at the injustice of Dumbledore's words. _

_"The family of Mr. Black would probably want to know how exactly Mr. Black tried to kill someone. I would have no choice, but to tell them the truth. Mr. __Lupin's__ fate hangs in this Severus." Severus was still red, choked up with anger._

_"This is what will be done," Dumbledore said finally deciding, "I am taking away 200 points from Gryffindor for Mr. Black's extreme lack of judgement understanding that I feel he really didn't realize what he said could result in the death of Mr. __Snape__ and the death of Mr. __Lupin__—"_

_"What—" Sirius' voice cracked, "What do you mean the death of __Remus__? He didn't do anything, even if he had managed to kill __Snape__—"_

_"He would have been put on trial, and found guilty of being a dangerous beast. The lightest sentence for that is incarceration for the rest of his life."_

_"Merlin," Sirius' face was set with a look of horror, "I could have killed Moony... I could have... because of a stupid joke killed my friend."_

_"Yes." Dumbledore said stonily, "I believe that you were not aware that your actions would progress this far. __If something ever happens like this again, __you __will be expelled with no warnings, and no repeals. Understood Mr. Black?" Sirius __was nodding mutely his eyes still horrified probably thinking of __Remus__ locked in a cage for the rest of his life, or worse, killed_

_"You will serve detention for the rest of the year with Mr. Finch." Sirius didn't even flinch, "And will not be allowed to use any magic outside of lessons without the supervision of a teacher." _

_"I understand sir...thank you." Sirius finally managed, "Moony I'm sorry__ I'm so sorry, I didn't think, I didn't know.__"_

_"Don't talk to me," __Remus__ said quietly, his tears had finally dried up. _

_"Mr. Pettigrew. For your cowardice, I am taking away fifty points from Gryffindor." Peter was sobbing and nodding, "You will serve detention for a month with Mr. Finch as well." Peter kept nodding not able to speak. Now and then he looked towards __Remus__ and then quickly away again. _

_"Mr. Potter, you shall receive no punishments or rewards since it is unclear where you stand in all of this. You will only have this memory, and I hope dearly that you learn from it." James was nodding his head as well looking like__ he was holding back tears too._

_"And Mr. __Snape__, you shall not tell anyone of what you have seen tonight__ of __Remus__Lupin__ being a werewolf, or of the entrance to the __Whomping__ Willow, or you will face expulsion." Before __Snape__ could begin his shout __Remus__ spoke._

_"No." He said softly. _

_"What?" Dumbledore blinked owlishly, it seems, for once taken by surprise._

_"__Snape__ doesn't deserve that... I could have killed him and he's the on__e that could be expelled for it?__ He's not allowed to tell a soul, or get it off his chest to anyone because if he does he'll be expelled, because of me, because of my choice in friends." Sirius flinched at __Remus__' words. _

_"But __Remus__—" Dumbledore began. __Remus__ stood up unhappily knowing his fate was sealed__if he did this, but did it anyway._

_"Severus," He said looking into the angry black eyes of the other boy who looked more and more confused the more __Remus__ spoke, "Do__... do__ what you want." He quickly left the office before Dumbledore could call him back. _

_"You can't let him!" Sirius cried just as the door closed._

Remus collapsed to his knees breathing heavily tears of anger in his eyes; he remembered painfully the emotions of that dreadful day. He looked up at Voldemort who looked partly amused and partly thoughtful. Sirius and James hauled him to his feet. He almost hit Sirius' hand away, but quickly remembered that that betrayal was forgiven long ago.

"What did he take?" James whispered. Remus shook his head.

"Nothing concerning the Order, I... I think I distracted him with my memories of school." The three others look only mildly relieved. After all, Voldemort would be ready for it this time.

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TBC 


End file.
